


Twinning for the Winning

by Gerdesichh



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: 9-1-1 - Freeform, Adoption, Angst with a Happy Ending, Buddie Week (9-1-1 TV), F/M, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:41:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29689671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gerdesichh/pseuds/Gerdesichh
Summary: When Buck finds out about Daniel. He also finds out another secert. One that is going to change his life forever. Buck has a twin sister who was given up for adoption when her bone marrow wasn't a match for Daniel.  Turns out Bucks twin is the daughter and sister of one Owen Strand and Tk Strand of the 126.This is a cross over fic, with hints of buddie and a slow burn 🔥 between the two.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

"Wait, Buck, that's not all" 

That statement was what turned Buck's life upside down. Three little words muttered by his sister's tearful voice. That's not all. What else could there be? Was it going to tear his soul in half and stomp on his heart? Was it going to make him feel even more useless and unwanted. 

He wanted to cry, no wonder he felt so alone and unwanted his whole entire life. It was because he actually was unwanted. His own parents didn't even want him. They just had him so he could save his brother Daniel and Buck was so worthless that he couldn't even do that.

No wonder why everyone always ends up leaving him. He's worthless and useless and when people finally figure it out they leave him. His parents left him, mentally any way, Maddie had eventually left. All the people he loved and that were suppose to love him unconditionally. 

So Buck got good at leaving first. He traveled the world. Making friends and enjoying his freedom but that soon got to lonely to bear and he landed himself in L.A at the 118 and he didn't feel so lonely. Then he met Abby and thought that he had found something special, that finally she would stay and love him, really love him but she left too. 

"Buck?" Maddie questioned, taking a step closer to Buck who was frozen in place by the door.

"What Maddie? What more could there possibly be other than a dead brother no one told me about? What more could possibly say after telling me I was only born so I could be a match for Daniel's bone marrow?" Buck questioned, his tone angry and exhausted all at one. 

Maddie closed her eyes because telling Buck this was going to change everything forever. He'd probably hate her forever too, but Buck deserved to know the truth. The whole ugly, sad truth even if it meant the possibility of Evan cutting her out of his life. 

"So when you were born, it wasn't just you mom had twins. You were a match for Daniel's marrow and your twin sister wasn't so mom and dad they….put her up for adoption." Maddie rushed out.

Buck was frozen to the spot. His heart pounding in his ears. Did Maddie say what he really thought she said. A sister. His TWIN! His twin sister who was given up simply because of something she could not control. 

At Bucks silence. Maddie continued, "I don't know much about her but she was born with the surname of Erica Marie Buckley. A nice couple from New York adopted her 3 months after she was born." 

Buck could her Maddie sobbing behind him but he couldn't get himself to care at the moment. A twin sister. Erica, he had a twin sister. He quickly wondered if she felt as alone as he did. She was the one his parents got rid of because she couldn't help save Daniel's life. 

Anger, red hot anger boiled under his skin and he wanted to scream but it wasn't Maddie's fault. She wasn't the one who had a child and gave it away. Although she helped his parents keep that secret from him and that hurt. He wasn't angry at Maddie per say but he was hurt. 

"Please Buck, say something. You're starting to scare me" Maddie cried. 

"I don't have anything to say to you right now" Buck replied, finally reaching for the door handle and turning the knob. 

Buck could hear his sister's pleas as he opened the door and continued down the hallway toward the stairs well. He had to get out and move, he had to punch something or just cry. He wasn't sure what he needed but he had to keep moving. The urge to run had never felt greater. Just pick up and go. Find a new town and a new life, but he couldn't do that. Not this time. He had to keep his mind and body moving. So instead of getting in his car he just started walking down the street. 

"Maddie you gotta slow down" Eddie said into the phone while he was stuffing things into Christpors backpack. 

"Eddie, he just walked out. His jeep is still out front and he wouldn't talk to me"

"Okay Maddie just calm down, I'll see if I can get a hold of him. I'm sure he's okay. He probably just needs time to process." Eddie said into the phone. 

Eddie hung up the call promising to check on Buck and calling her to let her know he's okay. Eddie sighed into his beer bottle as he took a sip. What a fucking mess. He hated that his best friend was going through something terrible. He hated that Buck has feelings of loneliness and inadequacies. What Eddie hated the most though that Buck most likely felt alone.

Like he had no one he could talk to, or anyone who he could turn too. Buck was the wear the heart on his sleeve type of guy but he was also the suffer in silence type and it drove Eddie nuts. Buck is his best friend and he's worried because its not often that Buck goes offline like this. Yea sure he'll avoid the subject and not want to talk about it but to be visibly upset about it and disappear was not like Buck at all. 

A sharp knock jostled Eddie from his thoughts and he hurried to the door. Picking through the window he sighed in relief when he saw Buck standing there. 

Buck looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes were red and unfocused, his hair looked like he had been running his hands through it non stop and his body was tense. Like he was afraid Eddie was going to yell or push him away. 

"Can I come in?" Buck asked, looking so sheepish and unlike himself it had Eddie doing a double take. 

"Of course man, you don't even have to ask" Eddie said, as he pulled the door open more. 

"I'm sorry for showing up here like this, I just I- I didn't want to be alone and I had no were else to go." Buck said, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. 

"Hey" Eddie said gently, moving closer to Buck. 

"You're always welcome here Buck. Always okay? Chris and I we will always be here for you and believe me when I say this you will never not be wanted here. Yeah?" Eddie said, gripping his friends shoulder in a tight squeeze. 

Eddie was not prepared for the look on Bucks face when he finally looked up at him. He looked utterly destroyed. His bottom lip began to tremble and Eddie quickly swept Buck into his arms. Buck buried his face into Eddie's neck and let out a heartbreaking sob. Eddie pulled his arms tighter around Buck desperate for Buck to feel the love and support coming off of him. 

"Shhhh its okay Buck" Eddie soothed "I got you, you're okay" 

Bucks body trembled against his and in that moment Eddie wanted to hunt Bucks parents down and scream at them for whatever they did. 

"Why does no one want me?" Buck cried, finally wrapping his arms around Eddie and holding on for dear life.

Eddie pulled back grabbing Bucks tear stained face. "You listen to me Evan and you listen to be good. That is not true!" 

More tears fell from Bucks eyes and he shook his head. "My own parents didn't even want me." 

"Thats shitty and I know it hurts but please know this. Everyone at the 118, Maddie, Athena, and Christpor we all want you, we all want you around. The 118 is the family we choose and you're a part of that family and we are here for you. I'm here for you. Got it?" Eddie said, wiping at the tears still leaking from Bucks eyes. 

Buck nodded and sniffled. "I'm sorry" Buck said, wiping at his face. 

"There is nothing to be sorry for you hear me?" 

"I hear ya" Buck said, finally getting his breathing under control. 

"You wanna talk about it?" Eddie asked, leading Buck further into the house. 

"Buck has a twin sister!" I can't believe it Hen said, the next morning at the firehouse. 

"Do you think her and Buck share a mind? Like can you imagine a female version of Buck?" Eddie asked, glancing between Bobby and Hen. 

"I would imagine she'd be running around ignore direct orders from her captain all the time," Bobby said in a teasing manner. 

Once the team saw that Buck wasn't laughing along like normal the quickly stopped teasing. Bobby frowned. 

"You know it wasn't your fault. None of it was" Bobby said. 

Buck just shook his head and was getting ready to respond when Chimney entered the room. Chim was apologizing and urging Buck to at least talk to Maddie but Buck wasn't having it and left the room. 

"Do you think Buck is going to try to find his sister?" Chimney asked the group. 

"I heard him on the phone with Athena this morning." Bobby said. 

"No doubt asking her for a favor." Hen said. 

It was at that moment the bell rang and the team got moving. 

Sitting on the back of the ambulance with Eddie hovering close by Buck gripped the envelope that Athena handed him tightly in his hands. In this envelope was where he could find his twin. The missing piece to his life. A missing piece to himself. Maybe if he found her he wouldn't feel so lonely. But maybe if he stopped pining for Eddie, his best friend he wouldn't feel so lonely too. 

Glancing over at Eddie he found the firefighter watching him and Buck had to look away quickly. Last night Buck just fell into Eddie's arms. He seeked the comfort in Eddie's strong arms. He felt safe and loved in Eddie's embrace. He just wished that when Eddie told him he was wanted it meant that he was wanted by him and that he loved Buck in the way Buck loved him. 

Buck shrugged it off. He was use to pushing these types of feelings down, way down. He realized his feeling for Eddie right after Eddie was buried alive in the well. He's been hiding his feelings ever since. It was getting harder to deny his feelings especially with the way Eddie was supporting him now. 

"Wanna come over after the shift?" Eddie asked. 

"Nah cap is sending me to get checked out after then i'll probably go home and sleep." Buck replied. 

"I heard you tell Hen and Bobby that you almost gave up" 

"I almost did. That man almost became another person I couldn't save" Buck said with a weak sigh. He stood slowly turning to walk away. 

"It wasn't your fault Evan" Eddie said but Buck just kept walking. 

Later that night Buck sat tiredly at the table with a beer in one hand and the envelope in the other. This was it. He was about to find out his sister's information. 

He tore the envelope open and pulled the documents out. First was the birth certificates his and hers. Turns out he was older by 4 minutes. Then was the documents his parents signed, the adoption papers. Then the next document was updated info. He read over them carefully. 

Erica Maria Strand. 

Adoptive Mother: Gwyneth Strand.  
Adoptive Father: Owen Strand.  
Brother: Tyler Kennedy Strand 

Place of adoption: New York City, New York

Current residence: Austin, Texas

Along with that there was a list of addresses and phone numbers. The last name stuck out at him and Strand. He knew it from somewhere. Then it all came rushing back. Strand, Captain Strand. Tk strand. Holy shit. The 126 from Austin, his sister was with people he already knew.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and the kudos I really appreciate it. It's been along time since I've wrote anything so please bear with me. I know there are probably spelling and grammar mistakes but thanks for reading anyway!!!

Buck stared down at his phone. Tk Strand's info pulled up. He was beyond nervous. How do you tell someone that their sister is actually your twin sister. TK and Owen were great people, he could feel it in his bones. He didn't want to turn their world upside down but he had to at least try to meet her or at least talk to her. 

'Hey tk its Buck, whats up? How are you?' Buck thumbed over the text message before hitting send. 

He didn't have time to panic over the message because Tk's response came almost immediately.

Tk: Buck!! Dude im good! How are you hows l.a?

Buck: L.A is L.A im doing okay. How's Austin?

Tk: Austin is well it was 🔥 today, and just okay? Everything alright man?

Buck: everything is not alright, I have a few questions to ask and I know its gonna seem strange and creepy but can you just humor me?

Tk: Ughhhh okay…..

Buck: You have a sister right?

Tk: Yea how did you know?

Buck: Shes 29 years old and her name is Erica Marie right.

Tk: wtf….how so you know all this?

Buck: Do you know if she was adopted?

Tk: Okay im officially freaked out….are you like some sort of stalker. Cuz you know my boyfriends a cop and he'll totally arrest your ass. 

Buck: not a stalker i swear. Just found out some info the other night that connects more than you think.

Suddenly Bucks phone started to ring, making him jump from his spot on the couch. It was Tk, of course he was calling. He just dropped a bomb on him. He was probably calling to scream at him. Swallowing hard Buck swiped to answer the call. 

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Tk asked as soon as the call connected. 

"If you're saying that I'm your sisters twin brother than yes im saying what you think I am" Buck answered.

"Twin!!! Erica has a twin! Erica is a twin. Carlos Erica…." 

"Has a twin yes I was listening" another male voice filter through the phone. It was probably Tk's cop boyfriend. 

"Babe why don't we let Buck here explain and if I believe him I won't file a restraining order against him" Buck heard Carlos tell Tk.

"Yea sounds good, so explain please" Tk said. 

"Okay I just want to start by saying I just found all this out like a few days ago, I had no idea about his when we came to help with the wild fires." Buck said into the phone. "So it all started with my older sister, Maddie and her baby box, well in it was a pic of a little boy who at first I thought was me, turns out it wasn't me. It was our brother Daniel. Only I don't have a brother. Maddie explained that Daniel was my older brother who had leukemia, he needed bone marrow transplants and well 9 months later here comes a set of twins, but only one of us was a match for Daniel and the other got put up for….."

"Adoption" Tk said, sounding stunned.

"So let me get this right. Your parents only had more children to save one of their other children and when one wasn't a match they just gave her away?" Carlos asked, sounding upset. 

"Pretty much sums it up, but don't forget about the survival sibling, who couldn't save his brother anyway, I guess I was to old to get rid of like that without having Maddie asking to many questions." Buck said, trapping the between his ear and shoulder. 

"Why didn't Maddie tell you this sooner?" 

"I don't know, she says its because she couldn't break my heart, he said she knew the news was gonna crush me and she couldn't do it, she said she tried to a couple of times but chickened out."

"Man thats rough, I'm sorry you're going through this Buck." Tk said. 

"I'm used to feeling not good enough. It's nothing new. I just hope deep down inside Erica isn't feeling this way ya know. Research shows that if twins are separated at birth they always feel like a part of them is missing. I also read that sometimes twins can feel each pain and no when the other twin in trouble" 

Tk's soft chuckled stopped him from continuing.  
"What?" Bucks asked. 

"You sound just like Erica." Tk said. 

"I do?"

"Dude yes. Erica knows all these crazy facts about everything. When the wild fires were going on i got a new text every couple of hours about wildfires." 

"I did too" Carlos added. 

"Did you know that 90% of all wildfires are started by humans" 

Tk and Carlos both laughed. 

"This is crazy." Tk said. 

"I know, and I'm sorry to be bringing it up but I have to at least talk to her ya know." 

"I understand, let me talk to my mom, dad and Erica and ill give Erica your number and when she's ready she can just call or text you." 

"That would be great Tk. You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you!!"

"Hey man no problem. I hope I'm help

"Shit" 

"What is it?" Carlos asked.

"Someone is at the door, the knocking scared me." Buck said moving around his house heading to the front.

"Who is it?" Tk asked. 

"Tk stop being nosey" Carlos said with a hint of amusement in his voice. 

"I'm not!" Tk whined. 

"Its Eddie" Buck said looking through the peep hole. 

"Eddie huh?" Tk said his tone suggestive. 

"What's that suppose to me?" Buck asked almost confused. 

"It means you're in love with the dude" 

"What!" Carlos and Buck said at the same time. 

"All I'm saying is that you talked about him nonstop while we were digging those trenches, and when he was around you kept sneaking glancing at him and let me tell you Buck. You looked at that man like he hung the moon" 

"Shush. You have no idea what you're talking about, Eddie and I are just best friends."

"The sooner you admit it to yourself Buck the sooner you can jump on him like I know you want to" Tk sang. 

"Oh my God!" Buck laughed, "I gotta go"

"Yea go get your man" Tk teased.

"Thank you for all your help, and being so understanding" 

"No problem man. Have a good night."

"You too. Night Carlos." Buck said hanging up the phone and reaching to pull open the door.

"About time damn" Eddie said, walking into Buck's carrying a 6 pack of beer and a pizza. 

"Sorry I was on the phone" Buck said, taking the beer from Eddie and putting it in the fridge.

"With who?" Eddie asked, kicking his shoes off. 

"Tk, I finally worked up the nerve to ask him about Erica" 

"Thats great man! How did it go?"

Buck rounded the corner with two beers in his hand handing one to Eddie. With a sigh Buck fell back against the couch nearly knocking into Eddie. Eddie bumped shoulders with him watching his best friend closely.

"It went okay. He was shocked obviously but he said he was going to talk to his mom, dad and sister and said he'd give Erica my number"

"Thats good. She'll probably text pretty soon then" 

"I hope so" Buck replied, taking a long pull from his beer. 

"Dude, she will, if she's anything like you then she will" Eddie said knocking his knee against Bucks. 

"Tk did say that she has massive amounts of trivial information" Buck said, his megawatt smile blooming across his face. 

"Oh dear God, of course that would be something you'd share. So who's older? You or her?" 

"I am by 4 minutes. I guess that makes me the big brother. I finally moved out of the baby brother zone." 

"Have you talked to Maddie yet?" Eddie questioned.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Buck asked. 

"Buck, man don't avoid the question, I hate it when you do that."

Buck let out a loud sigh. "No I haven't talked to her yet" 

"Buck you gotta talk to her man. Imagine how she's feeling the guilt must be eating her alive" 

"Why does it always have to be about how she's feeling. Why can't it ever be about how i'm feeling?" Buck said getting up to pace around the living room.

"And I know Eddie its not always about me and I know i seem to always try to make it about me but for once in my life I just want someone to care about what I'm going through. I'm tired, man. I'm tired of always putting everyone before myself. I'm tired of slipping on this fake smile every day. It's exhausting." 

Eddie frowned, trying to think of a time when Buck did something for himself. It scared him that he couldn't think of anything. Everything Buck did was to help someone else and he always did it with a big smile on his face, happy to help. 

"Hey its okay," Eddie said moving closer to Buck. 

"You're entitled to feel however you feel. It's okay to put yourself first." Eddie said. 

Buck just shrugged. 

"Evan, it's okay to put yourself first. Do you hear me?" Eddie said reaching across the couch to put an arm around Bucks shoulders. 

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Buck said with a sigh. 

"Okay fine but if you're feeling too low or overwhelmed please please come to me Buck I mean it. I'm your best friend and I hate seeing you like this." Eddie said, squeezing Buck's shoulder.

"You got it. So what movie?" Buck said standing up. 

He had to get away from Eddie. Eddie had an arm wrapped around him and Buck felt way too comfortable and safe with him. Eddie was being too perfect. Buck could almost picture them as a couple. Sitting on the couch drinking beer and snuggling into each other. 

Buck quickly stood knocking Eddie's arm from his shoulder as he moved around the room. Eddie looked confused but didn't question Buck's behavior. 

The rest of the night went normal. The dou drank beer, watched a movie and talked about everything from Christpors upcoming science project to a stupid meme Buck had saw on Facebook. 

"You sure you don't mind covering my shift then? Eddie asked, as he stood by the door. 

"Nah man, Chris had parent teacher conferences." 

"I know. I just feel bad"

"Don't. I really don't have any other plans." Buck said. 

"Alright I appreciate it. I'll see you later." Eddie just as Buck walked him to the door. 

Buck called out a quick goodbye and closed the door leaning against it. He was so screwed when it came to Eddie. He was hopelessly head over heels in love with him. Sometimes it hurt with how much he loved Eddie. Some days he had to just avoid Eddie to keep his heart from breaking and other days, like today he was a glutton for punishment, Letting Eddie hold him.

Bucks phone beeped at the incoming text, causing Buck to move away from the door and head into the kitchen.

Tk: how did you date with Eddie go?

Buck shook his head at the message but couldn't help the smile that appeared across the screen. 

Buck: It wasn't a date and I have to go to bed, got an earlier shift tomorrow.

Tk: keep telling yourself that. Stay safe out there. 

Buck sent the the peace sign emjo and fell into his bed. 

After his double at the station Buck was exhausted. It wasn't too busy but the calls they had were tough and physically draining. It was safe to say Buck was ready to fall asleep standing up. His phone buzzing had him reaching for it mindlessly. 

Unknown: Hi Buck Tk gave me your number. It's Erica.

Buck nearly fell to the ground. It was his twin sister. His twin was texting him. He couldn't believe it. It felt surreal in a way. It was finally happening. 

Buck: yea, I told tk he could. How are you? 

Buck pressed send before he had a chance to over think it. 

Erica: I'm good, shocked considering the news I recently received. What about you?

Buck: shocked is one word for it. Sorry to bring this on and turn your life upside down but I don't think I could go another minute without trying to at least find you. 

Erica: no please don't be sorry. I would have done the same thing. Small world though, you meeting dad and Tk at the wildfires.

Buck: I know way small, but Tk has been awesome through this. You're lucky to have a brother like him. So what do you do for work? Lol I'm sorry this feels so awkward.

Erica: Tk is the best! Even for a little brother. And it does feel awkward but that's okay. I'm a pediatric physical therapist.

Buck: That's amazing!! My best friend Eddie. His son Christopher sees one every 6 months. He's got cp. 

Erica: 2 minutes. 

Buck: I'm sorry what?

Erica: Tk told me to see how fast you brought up Eddie. It was 2 minutes into the conversation. And that's rough i'm sorry to hear that. 

Buck: don't listen to anything Tk says about Eddie and I. We are just friends! And don't be Chris is the best little guy. He so strong and he doesn't let cp define him. 

Erica: that's good to hear. I see kids like that every day and it amazes me how strong and positive they are. So Eddie? Another firefighter?

Buck: Yea we work together. 

Buck spends almost half the morning texting away with Erica. Even though he's dog tired and sore he's smiling so big his cheeks hurt. They talk about everything from the weather to Erica's crazy coworkers and Buck spends a lot of time talking about Maddie and how she's an awesome big sister. Buck gives Erica Maddie's phone number and promises to text her when he wakes up. Even though he's ready to fall asleep standing up he sends one more text to Maddie telling her he's sorry and he can't wait to talk when she's free.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for any errors in grammer or spelling I love you all for taking the time out to read!!!

Buck smiled at his phone while they sat in the firetruck waiting for help to come. Volts of electricity screaming above him but he couldn't help but laugh. Things with Erica were going great. She was funny, sweet, protective and smart. Basically the opposite of Buck but he couldn't be more happier to connect with his twin. He was also becoming fast friends with Tk and Carlos. They four of them had a group chat going. 

"Why are you smiling? We are trapped in a death box." Hen said, sitting across from him. 

"Erica says to break the curse we need to take a salt water bath while saying a prayer and relaxing. Tk thinks we should just apologize to the universe and hope for the best while Carlos thinks we are all crazy. Minus you Eddie." Buck said smiling over at Eddie.

"See I'm not the only one who doesn't believe." Eddie fired back. 

"True but you and Carlos are outnumbered because more of us believe in the curse so that makes you two the crazy ones" Buck said, his tone teasing. 

"That's your logic? You're unbelievable, all of you are. And Cap i can't believe you're going along with this" Eddie said, throwing up his arms. 

Buck snickered at his phone before looking over to Eddie. "Bobby believes because he's witnessed this curse way more than we have and he knows questioning it will only make the universe more angry. "

Eddie groaned, throwing his head back against the seat. "The universe doesn't get mad or scream" he said. 

Just has Eddie said that the powerlines started hissing and sparking. The whole crew gave Eddie the look and he just shook his head. He didn't believe in curses really but today he was starting to question it. He looked over at Buck and frowned. 

Eddie was happy for Buck. He was finally connecting with his family, him and Maddie couldn't be closer and him and Erica were talking everyday all day. He was happy the twins were finally getting to know each other. Buck seemed happier, less guilty and not blaming himself for everything anymore. 

Eddie still worried though. Words of Buck's often floated through his head, "I almost gave up." "I'm exhausted." Eddie just wanted Buck to be happy, out he off all people deserve it. With everything he's been through. Buck is do for some happy moments. 

So Eddie was happy for Buck, he really was but he was on that phone allll the time, talking to Tk, Erica and Carlos. When he wasn't on the phone he was talking about them. Tk this, Carlos said this, Tk cracks me up, Tk and Carlos are so cute together. Most of the time Eddie just rolled his eyes and listened to Buck but sometimes he wanted to scream. What about me? I thought I was your best friend? But Eddie kept his mouth shut because he knew Buck.

He knew if he said anything Buck would immediately feel guilty and start apologizing up and down and blaming himself for things that weren't his fault. Buck one time asked why people didn't care about his feelings and this was Eddie's way of caring about Bucks feelings, by pushing his own feelings down. 

"Chris was wondering if you're still coming over for movie night?" Eddie asked Buck who looked up from his phone at the mention of Chris. 

Bucks face broke out into a huge infectious grin as he nodded. "Of course I'm coming over, no way I'm missing movie night with my two favorite Diaz boys." 

"Good, I'll tell him. He's been dying to see you." Eddie said, unable to keep the smile off his face at Bucks excitement over seeing his son. 

Tk: I can't believe you're going to Eddie's house. 🤦♂️

Buck: I can't just stop hanging out with him and chris. He's my best friend.

Carlos: Buck is right Tk, he can't stop his friendship because of his feelings for the man. 

Erica: True but you can't keep putting yourself through this Buck. 

Buck: Well what am I suppose to do? So Eddie we can't hang out anymore because I'm 100% totally in love with you and I want to some how have your babies. 

Erica: Yessssss, tell the man how you feel.. 

Carlos: I agree with Erica

Tk: What they said. Just tell him, you never no Eddie might be having feelings of his own. 😻👬

Buck: I highly doubt that, considering he called up Chriss old pretty English teacher and met her for breakfast this morning. 

Tk: jezzzz that's rough man. But listen Buck, he could still have feelings for you. 

Carlos: Tk i don't think Buck wants to hear it right now. 

Tk: I know but I just ship Eddie and Buck so hard. I mean they would be perfect for each other. 

Erica: I'm with Tk on this. Buck you need to tell Eddie. Not tonight but eventually or else its gonna start getting in the way of your friendship. Trust me I know. 

Tk: How would you know?

Buck: Yea Erica? 

Carlos: Spill. 

Erica: I'm not spilling anything. Back to Bucks love life. 

Buck: but I wanna talk about yours.

Buck: Gotta go guys, time to get tortured

Erica: you're gonna be okay. Love you.

Tk: sorry man 

Carlos: Good luck and try to remember what it was like before you had feelings for him and the two of you use to hang out. 

Eddie smiled at Buck when he entered the room. It was Buck's turn to do bedtime and Christpor was a bundle of energy. 

"How'd it go?" Eddie asked. 

Buck dropped down on the couch with a sigh and flooped his head in Eddie's direction. 

"That kid did not want to go to sleep." 

"What did you bribe him with this time?" 

"I told him the next time he came over we could make cookies." Buck said smiling brightly at Eddie. 

"That might be sooner than you think?" Eddie said more of a question than a statement.

"Why? What's going on? Is everything okay?" Buck questioned sitting up straighter.

"Everything is fine Buck, I was just wondering if you could watch Chris this weekend when we are both off. I trust you with him more than anything and I know he loves you so do you think you can watch on Saturday" 

"Yea man of course! Hot date?" Buck teased.

"Actually, yea" Eddie said rubbing at the back of his neck. A clear sign of nerves. 

"Oh" Buck said.

His mouth going dry at the thought of Eddie with another girl. Not to mention the breaking of his heart. He could feel it snapping into pieces. He should have expected this. Eddie was gorgeous, generous, loving, strong, funny and a family man of course females were gonna want to date him. And of course he'd want to date them back one day. Why co-parent with your best friend when Eddie could find a nice girl to do it with. 

Ana was smart, beautiful and down to earth, of course Eddie would want to date her.

"Things went good this morning then? Buck asked, trying to seem normal. 

Eddie launched into telling him about his date with her that he didn't notice his best friend go pale. Eddie was so into talking about Ana and how it felt good to go on a date, how excited he was for his next one and how he finally felt like he was ready to move on from Shannon, that he didn't notice Buck's breathing had picked up at a good pace. 

Eddie was going to leave Buck. Just like everyone else. Eddie was going to fall in love Ana and sure Buck would probably be the best man at the wedding but eventually down the road Buck would be phased out. Bluring into the background of Eddie's family life. Christopher would soon want to do movie nights with Ana instead of him. He would no longer see Buck as his Bucky just plan old Buck.

As broken as his heart was it was beating to fast. His was sweating and he couldn't catch his breath. Eddie was swimming in his vision as he tried to regulate his breathing. Alone, he was going to be all alone. No was going to love him like he loved them. No one was going to love him like the way he loved Eddie and Christopher. 

"Jesus christ" Eddie said slamming his beer down on the coffee, while dropping to his knees in front of Buck. 

"Buck you gotta breathe" Eddie said, his hands clamping down on Buck' cheeks. 

"Hey, hey look at me" Eddie said, trying to get Buck to focus. 

"Alone" Buck muttered, trying to bring his arms up over his head. 

Eddie caught his arms and pulled Buck into his arms. Eddie's heart was racing, he was scared. Buck was breaking in front of him and he had no idea why or how to fix him. He could guess it had something to do with the secert his parents kept from him all his life and his recent feelings of not being good enough. Although watching Buck now he was starting to wonder how recent those feelings actually were. 

"You're not alone" Eddie said rubbing Buck's back. 

Buck's hot rapid breaths puffed into Eddie's neck but he didn't care. All he cared about was getting Buck calm. It was a few stray tears that hit Eddie's neck that he knew Buck was crying and Eddie squeezed him tighter. 

"I'm right here Evan" Eddie told him. "Follow my breathing. In….one….two...three, out….four…...five" Eddie continued to repeat until he felt Buck's breathing evening out. "Thats it, I gotcha ya" Eddie soothed. 

Finally Buck pulled away looking everywhere but at Eddie but he was still following Eddie's breathing. Eddie stayed knelt in front of Buck hanging on to his biceps. Buck looked wrecked. His eyes were red and he still looked to pale. 

"Sorry" Buck muttered. 

"Don't do that, you have nothing to be sorry for." He said. "Are you okay?" He asked. 

Buck took a big breath and nodded. "I think so" 

"Evan-"

"Please" Buck said squeezing his eyes closed. "Please don't call me that" Buck whispered, because his broken heart couldn't take the man who broke it saying his name like that. 

Before Eddie can say anything Buck is on his feet and moving toward the door. 

"Buck please stay let's talk." Eddie said his tone pleading and worried. 

"I can't I'm sorry" Buck said slipping out the door faster than Eddie could anticipate. 

Its then a few short moments after Buck left a stunned Eddie standing by the couch that he realizes Buck's shoes are still by the door. His best friend was in such a hurry to get away from him that he left his shoes for a fast get away. He saw the embarrassment swimming in Buck's eyes but there was something unrecognizable there too and Eddie was going to get to the bottom of it. 

Buck is sitting on the couch thinking about how he just embarrassed himself to the high heaven when his phone rings. He knows its Eddie without glancing down at his lap. Of course Eddie would be calling him. He had a fucking panic attack on Eddie's couch and then bolted right after so he wouldn't have to explain to Eddie why he was panicking. Buck knows he should at least text Eddie to let him know he made it home safely but he just can't. 

His phone starts ringing again and this time when he glances down he's surprised to find that its Erica. 

"Erica?" He questioned picking up the phone. "Everything okay?" He asked. 

"Buck hey, yeah I'm good sorry to call so late. Just want to ask you something" Erica said. 

"Sure what's up?" 

"Are you okay? You sound winded. Did something happen?" Erica's asked concern lacing her voice. 

So Buck told her everything. From the way he pictured Eddie slamming him up against the wall when he first walked in, to the panic attack and even the part while he bolted with out his shoes. 

"Wait you just left your shoes there?" Tk's voice filtered through the background along with a chuckled.

"Oh my God, of course I'm on speaker" Buck said, but he couldn't keep the grin out of his voice. 

"Its just Tk and Carlos. But the thing I wanted to ask you, it might cheer you up."

"So ask" Buck responded. 

"Well in about 3 weeks from now I have a week off work and I was wondering if you wanted to come down and see me?" Erica asked sounding hopeful. 

"Yes 1000 times yesss" Buck said, his smiling growing big. 

"What about work?" Tk asked. 

"I'll talk to Bobby tomorrow at work. I'm sure we can work something out. Even if its for a few days I want to come" Buck answered. 

"So Eddie will be there tomorrow?" Tk asked

Buck sighed into the phone, "yea don't remind me" 

"So do you think he'll bring your shoes with him? Carlos asked. 

The line going silent for a minute before Tk, Carlos and Erica started laughing. 

"I hate you guys" Buck said with a chuckle

"You'll let me know then?" Erica questioned. 

"As soon as I know ill message you." Buck said with a smile. 

A trip to Texas to meet his twin was just what the doctor ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate all the comments and kudos! You guys rock!

**Author's Note:**

> Please note I have no idea what adoption papers look like so please no I 100% made that end up. And thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are very very much appreciated


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